


Lu...kas?

by HotDoggo



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OOC, Some characters are only implied, Zombies, no beta we die like men, sorry (does shy fingers)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24785854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotDoggo/pseuds/HotDoggo
Summary: Using his sleeves, he wiped his tears. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm. Emil was so sure it was a walker, and that he would have to accept his death, but when he looked up, he saw blond hair that belonged to a familiar man.“L-Lukas?”“Shut up. Just run.”-----Emil and Tino have survived the zombie apocalypse for about two years now, and they bump into Lukas and Mathias. What could possibly go wrong?Well for one, catching feelings was definitely not part of the plan.
Relationships: Iceland/Norway (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Who Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm back....

Beads of sweat ran down Emil’s cheeks, falling off his chin as he twitched. His silvery white hair shimmered. He held up the gun Tino handed him. Hands shaking, Emil hesitantly grazed the metal trigger with his index finger, afraid to pull it. His heart pounded loudly. He swallowed. _Okay. You’re doing okay. Hold the gun still, hold your breath, just like Tino said._ Just thinking about the way it could end badly got Emil nervous. _What if I accidentally shot someone? What if I hit Tino? What if I attract walkers? What if-_

Tino placed a hand to Emil’s shoulder, cutting off his train of thoughts. He smiled gently and reassuringly. “You’ll be fine. I was like this when I first started, so... relax.”

Emil took a deep breath, then another. His hands slowly relaxed, and the tension in his shoulders disappeared. He focused intensely on the pistol, and lined up the rear sight with the front sight. Carefully clicking the safety trigger off, Emil aimed at the green bottle that sat across from him, still, on a wooden crate. He closed one eye, centering the pistol with the olive green bottle and pulled the trigger as his eyes shut close.

A loud, piercing bang shot throughout the room for a second. Emil waited until the ringing sound died down before hesitantly opening his eyes. From instinct, he immediately shot his eye across to see where the bottle sat. The top half of it shattered all over the top of the wooden crate while the bottom half of it stood tall. Small pieces were scattered all over the dusty grey floor. His eyes drifted to Tino, waiting for a reaction. 

“That was amazing Emil!” He complimented with a wide grin. Emil slightly formed a smile from his usual pouty face. 

He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Uh… Thanks…” His cheeks felt warm.

Suddenly, the sound of groaning and footsteps grew closer. It dragged across the floor from the hall, growing louder and louder with each second. We both scanned the warehouse. 

One door. Zero windows.

Emil bit his lips hard from frustration, knowing that they would have to fight to get out. He turned his head towards Tino. His violet blue eyes stared back, filled with determination. They exchanged words without speaking, and nodded. Emil clicked the safety lock on, tossed over the grey pistol to Tino who turned the safety lock off as he reloaded the pistol. Emil grabbed a dagger from his brown, leather pocket that slightly dangled by his hips. Dried blood still lingered on it from the last time it was used. Emil took a deep breath and held it as Tino rushed through the door. He quickly exhaled and ran behind him.

The hallway was small. It was just enough to fit two people side by side. Gunshots got louder as Emil progressed through the hallway. Tino stood to the side in a ready formation, arms outstretched as he shooted bullets every few seconds. 

Emil ran past him, tapping the blonde’s shoulder to inform him to stop shooting. He slid and stabbed a walker in the knee, passing right by him. The walker tripped, falling onto the floor. Soon enough, Emil turned and ran the knife deep into its skull, the burgundy blood splattering onto his hands. Tino resumed to shoot, protecting Emil from the walkers who followed behind Emil. Unfazed, Emil stood up and this action repeated until the way was cleared.

The duo left the building with blood smeared on their clothes. It already had dried blood on it from a long time ago but the fresh blood soaked through, making it uncomfortable for the two. Unfortunately, they had to deal with it. 

Emil used his sleeve to wipe off the blood on the dagger, making sure to only use dry parts to wipe. He flipped it back and forth a few times; the blade reflecting the dulled sunlight. Glancing back to his sleeves, Emil grimaced at the revolting greenish red blood that stained his brown coat.

Tino tapped his shoulder. The silver haired boy stared back with a blank mind before realizing that he should probably continue walking. He studied the sky once more before catching up to Tino.

A while past before they came to a halt. Tino decided to rest in an abandoned house that didn't look like it was about to collapse, and Emil agreed. The sky was dim. A dark grey with faint hints of a tannish brown. Like mud, but darker. They entered the house and scanned the area. Any walkers they found were eliminated quietly. There wasn't a second floor. Tino thought it would be a good idea to rest in the living room. It wasn't too far away from the door, didn't have too many windows, and had a lot of room to move around in. Emil agreed.

It grew darker and darker til the point where no one could see the outside except for the night sky. Emil and Tino both sat down against the wall and talked for a bit.

At some point, Tino fell asleep. It was unlikely for him to do that in a situation like this because it made him vulnerable, but he hasn’t slept in days. He’s been staying up every night to make sure that Emil would stay safe whenever they were able to find a place to sleep. Looking at Tino finally sleeping put Emil at ease. He felt a smile grow on his face. Right now, it was nice. It was quiet. It usually wasn't always this quiet.

Emil laid his head against the wall beside Tino and stared into the darkness. Emil held up his hand in front of himself, testing how much he could see through the darkness. At some point, his hand flopped down beside him, and his tiredness took over.

...

A muffled stomp. That was what woke Emil up. Then another. Tino rubbed his eyes.

“Tino, wake up.” Emil shook him profusely. A worried expression crept onto his face. “Something’s happening. C’mon.”

“...Huh?” A yawn came from the blonde’s lips. His eyes were half open. Emil didn’t blame him for not wanting to wake up yet. After all, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten some sleep. But this isn’t the problem right now. That sound could’ve been walkers, and they could trap us in this house any second. That thought made Emil shudder with fear and was even more determined to wake Tino up.

“Tino, wake up.” Emil repeated. Finally, Tino realized what situation he was in, and jolted up. Immediately, he reached for his pistol.

Tino looked around cautiously. “What’s going on?” He said, as he checked if his pistol was fully loaded.

“I don’t know, I just heard a sound, and I felt like I should wake you.” Emil informed while his eyes scanned the room hurriedly.

Tino stood up, slightly wobbly from recently waking up and grabbed Emil’s hand. “We should go.” The older stated, racing towards the window. Emil followed along, stumbling at the sudden move. Soon, he found his balance as he followed Tino, who stopped at the window, lifted it up and slipped out. 

“W-Wait!” Emil stuttered as he fumbled out the opening. 

Tino, who was pacing forward, turned around and gave Emil a hand. “Let’s hurry, okay?” He said sweetly. Emil nodded.

As soon as Emil got out, they both dashed away from the house. Once they thought they were far away enough, they slowed down, walking down the isolated path. That wasn’t good for Emil, because after all these years, his stamina still sucked somehow. He never really was very good at any type of sport when he was little. He stopped at the side of the road, and coughed.

“Emil! Are you okay? I-I’m so sorry for making you run this much but… you understand why.” Tino bursted out as he attempted to comfort Emil.

Emil wiped his lips with his sleeves and said, “I’m fine. I-I can manage myself. I’m not a child anymore.”

“Okay.. Just don’t push yourself too much. We can relax a bit here, I think. It’s pretty empty and deserted here.” Emil just nodded as he walked to the side of the road to sit down. Tino sighed as he looked forward, sighting a red bridge in the distance. “I think we’re pretty close to the next town. The bridge is right ahead, and from what I remember, there’s only a few kilometres left.”

Emil ran a hand through his hair casually. “Thank god. Maybe we can find some water there. I’m dying. Food too.”

The other man giggled. “Hopefully there _will_ be some water and food there.” He went to sit down next to Emil. After a couple of minutes, Tino spoke up. “You think you’re ready to go?”

“Yeah.” The silver haired boy replied, as he stood up. Tino did the same. They both walked forward at a slow pace, relaxed, but still cautious. At some point they made it onto the bridge, still proceeding forward at a turtle’s pace. Tino was still cautious, but he relaxed a bit more than he usually would. That is, until they saw someone on the other side of the bridge.

Tino stopped as soon as he saw that person on the other side and tensed up. That blonde dude with a gun that hung across his back; a black strap which was connected to it, going across his chest. A taller guy also with blonde hair stood beside him. They both looked quite young, maybe late teens to young adults. The others on the opposite side stopped as well, noticing our presence.

Emil promptly went and planted a hand on the pouch that had his dagger in it, but before he could even move an inch, the man with a gun drew it quickly and pointed it right at Emil and Tino. 

“Put your hands up!” He shouted across. Emil impulsively withdrew his hand and threw them up in the air in fear. He widened his eyes when he realized that it was a shotgun. Tino hastily did the same, dropping the black pistol onto the bridge.

The two strangers rushed over quickly, guns still drawn at them. Emil held his breath at the sight of the shotgun, trying not to remember the bloodshed that happened in the past. 

Emil rapidly shook off the thought of it and spoke up confidently. “So who the hell are you guys?” He glared straight into the shorter man’s eyes.

“Why the fuck should we tell you?” The man with the gun countered. He narrowed his eyes at Emil, then looked at Tino.

The taller man turned towards the one with the shotgun, and suggested in a causal voice that was a bit _too_ casual, “They don’t look suspicious, just like normal survivors.” His face turned to a grin. “Maybe they could come along with us!” 

The one with the gun instantly jabbed the other’s side with his elbow. “Why do I even tolerate you?” He spat with an annoyed tone. Soon after, he turned his attention to Emil. “Name?” He spoke monotonously.

“E-Emil...” He mumbled. Emil cursed himself internally for stuttering. The guy then turned his head towards Tino, and asked the same question. Tino told him his name calmly, keeping a straight, neutral face. The man withdrew his shotgun and pointed it to the ground, holding it with one hand now.

The taller stranger quickly blurted out, “I’m Mathias!” Mathias then turned towards the person he was next to. “This guy over here is called Lukas!”

Lukas hit Mathias again, this time on the head with his free hand and glared at him before dropping it and turning his icy gaze over to me and Tino. “Follow me.”


	2. Why Can't I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay, calm down. You’re safe with me.”

Emil didn’t know how it happened, but he somehow teamed up with two others that he had just met. So when they all gathered in a safe warehouse that was in the city to discuss what was going to happen next, Emil didn’t expect Lukas’s speed and accuracy with guns.

At first they talked about what was going to happen next from now on, then it bounced onto food supply and shelter. At the time, the warehouse was secured with wooden planks covering the windows, a lock on doors. It had a somewhat large space with bare ‘furniture’ if you could even call it that. The ‘furniture’ was just a few sofas with a couple rips and tears on the cushions and a small stain of some sort, a large round, black table with scratches etched all over, some empty tan wooden crates which sat in the corner of the room stacked on top of each other, creating a triangular formation, and a lone black backpack resting on said crates. Other than that, the warehouse was completely empty. No shelves or anything else. That went the same with the stranger’s food supply apparently.

The food supplies that Lukas and Mathias had were pretty much non-existent. They explained that they recently ran out of food, and Emil groaned internally in frustration. He knew food was hard to come by, especially when most of the cities him and Tino explored were already scavenged by other survivors multiple times, but the disappointment of traveling over and over and over again to different towns, different cities, just makes him want to give up. It gets to him. It really does because he’s tired of it all, and searching for food for weeks repeatedly without eating really adds to the negativity he has around him all the time. Thankfully, they did have a decent amount of water bottles.

Eventually, the topic did move onto other things, and Emil is relieved. The group discussed what techniques they used to kill walkers. Emil was the only one who kept silent and stared off to space. They all discussed which weapon choices they used and it turned out Emil was the only one who could effectively use a close range weapon. Tino apparently, just _had_ to talk about how Emil was learning how to use a pistol, as if he was a father bragging about his children, and Mathias _just happened_ to jump in about how Lukas has the most amazing skills he has ever seen with any kind of ranged weapon. That made him jump back into reality. Before he could protest, Tino had already passed his firearm to Emil. So there he is, gripping Tino’s steel pistol and aiming at a tiny , propped up chunk of wood while Lukas, who he didn’t like very much, was explaining some tips to Emil a few feet away from him.

“Don’t jerk your hand or move before you shoot. Hold your breath. It’ll help stabilize you and you’ll get a much more accurate shot.” Lukas collectively informed with a blank face.

Emil started to get slightly annoyed. He already knew half of these tips from Tino, so he was getting peeved from hearing it again. “I know already, okay? I’m not a child anymore.” He spat. Nonetheless, he started to control his breathing, timing it so that when he pulled the trigger, he would be holding his breath. For the second time that day, he lined up the pistol with the target, moved his finger from the trigger guard to the trigger and pulled. The echo of the ringing across the empty warehouse wasn’t too loud, but it felt like it was deafening to Emil. He briskly clicked on the safety and dropped his arms toward the ground, only holding the gun by the magazine with one hand.

Lukas walked up to the target and picked it up, turning around with that same blank face he always carried around. Tossing it up into the air, Lukas walked towards Emil as he caught it, showing him the block of wood, intacted like it was before. 

“I told you to not move your arms when you pull the trigger.” Lukas disappointingly stated, crossing his arms.

Emil huffed with irritation before rolling his eyes. “Well I’m sorry I messed up on the second shot that I ever took in my entire life. Here, let me just undo everything that just happened so I can take my second shot again.” A brief thought about how dramatic he was being passed through his head, but it went out just as quickly as it came.

Lukas smacked his lips before responding with, “If you followed my direction, you would’ve gotten a better shot.” 

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do about it then?” Emil yelled, raising his voice.

Mathias spoke up. “Emil, you should calm down. I don’t think Lukas meant anything personal when he said that.”

“No. He was the one who-“

“Emil, apologize to Lukas.” Tino said firmly with a disapproving look.

Emil stared back at Tino surprised. He had never seen Tino act up this way, so this was new to him. Hell, he never even saw Tino get relatively mad in all the years he’s known him. Tino had always been this angelic figure to Emil, always on his side and patient to explain everything to him. But this time was like the other times. Why were they all teaming up on him? It’s not like he did anything wrong, right? 

“Why?” He crossed his arms with the gun in his hand. “No. There’s no fucking way I’m saying sorry to him. No. Way.”

Tino frowned before scolding Emil, “You were being rude, Emil. Just apologize, okay?” He pulled a hopeful face towards Emil and Emil just sighed.

He gave Tino an annoyed face before he said, “Fine.” Emil redirected his gaze toward Lukas and glared at him. “I’m sorry.” He spat angrily. The tone of his voice has zero sincerity to it. Hastily, he sprinted out of the warehouse. He could hear Tino’s voice, but he could make out what he had said. Whatever Tino said, Emil just shrugged it off and continued running in the muddled vision of his anger.

…

Emil sat just outside the entrance of a nearby house which was completely torn and broken down. The windows cracked and the wallpaper peeling off. He knew that he shouldn’t wander too far off; he wasn’t looking for a death sentence after all. At this point, he wanted to take his mind off what had just happened, so he reloaded the firearm and unloaded it again, the pattern repeating itself over and over again. 

He sighs, wondering if he overreacted too much and placed the gun down beside him. After all, maybe he could’ve not overreacted that much, or maybe he could have not been so stuck up. Lowering his head towards the ground, he stared and crawled into a ball.

“I never took you to be the type to run off like that.” A familiar voice accused. Emil dreaded to hear it. He kept his head down because he already knew who it was from the tone of their voice.

“Shut up already, Lukas.” He spat, the venom clear in his tone. He spun the gun around in one of his hands. “Why are you here anyways?”

“To make sure that you didn’t die out here,” Lukas began. “and to take that pistol off of you.” Emil furrowed his brows in confusion and glanced up, carefully placing the gun beside himself.

“Why?” He questioned, tilting his head a bit to the side in confusion and genuine curiosity. After thinking a bit, Emil hesitantly continued with, “I’m not harming anyone with it. Why do I need to hand it over?”

“You’re clearly not ready to use one.” Lukas retorted. He bent down and forcefully grabbed the pistol and stood back up fairly quickly. Emil just blankly stared back.

“Lukas, I don’t understand. What do you mean?” Emil eagerly asked, looking for an answer. Lukas turned his head away from Emil, eyes pointed to the ground. “Lukas, I’m clearly able to function with a gun, I just need some practice.” Emil pauses for a second before jumping back into what he was saying. “Lukas?” Lukas’s face had a frown painted over his face.

“Let’s just go back.”

…

“Emil!” Tino exclaimed when he saw Emil walking into the base. Tino rushed over and hugged Emil tightly. “Emil, I’m sorry! I was so worried! Please don’t do that again!” Emil, who stood still, tilted his head over to stare at the back of Tino’s head.

“Tino, I’m not a child, stop babying me.” Emil responded, but instead of pushing back, he just stayed there, still as a rock with his arms by his side. Usually, affection wasn’t something he preferred, but today was different. He made something that resembled a half smile with his face. Emil was just happy that the angle he was in blocked anyone from seeing it. 

Tino moved back and stared back at Emil, then glanced towards Mathias before switching his attention back at Emil. “Me and Mathias decided that we should travel to the next city over. Mathias said there were supplies that we could scavenge.” He announced. 

After traveling all the way to this town they were currently in, they had already used up all their energy. Emil stared back at Tino in disbelief, opening his mouth but then closing it immediately after, not knowing what to say. Eventually, he spoke up.

“Tino, we just got here! How can we keep traveling when we’re exhausted?” Complained Emil. Some days, Emil thinks that Tino has the worst ideas sometimes. It reminds him slightly of how carefree the days were before this apocalypse hit. But now was no time to dwell on the past, as he was focused on trying to convince Tino.

Before Emil could even begin speaking, Tino started first, saying, “Well, what if there was food there, Emil? We haven’t eaten in a long time! This is our chance, and an opportunity to bond with them!” 

“Can’t we go tomorrow? I can’t do anything properly today! I’m tired and we literally just got away from possible danger today!” Emil countered back, hoping Tino would get his message.

“I think we should go toda-“

“We should go tomorrow.” Lukas announced. Emil and Tino both turned their heads to look at Lukas, who was staring back at them. “I have some things to do today.”

“W-Wait, couldn’t you do tha-“

“I said,” commanded Lukas, “we’re going tomorrow.” And he walked off without a word. Tino gaped and went silent.

As much as Emil hated Lukas, he does have to admit that he at least had some gratitude for Lukas.

…

Nightfall soon came, covering the town in complete darkness except for the large warehouse. Lukas mentioned that they had a few oil lamps that they used to light up the place since the place would get so dark that you couldn’t even tell where you were. Thankfully, Mathias and Lukas allowed Tino and Emil to stay (mostly because of Mathias begging Lukas over and over again until he got fed up with it). Since there were only three sofas, Mathias and Lukas took one each. Emil on the other hand, shared a couch with Tino. As a result, they were both curled into a ball in one corner of the furniture with Emil’s head laying on the cushions and Tino on top of him. They didn’t even use the entire sofa, leaving about a quarter as if they were scared of taking up space.

Emil couldn’t remember the last time he ever slept on anything softer than wood. Of course, the soft was definitely not the softest thing they’ve felt in their life. After all, he didn’t always live in an apocalypse.

The night went quite peaceful, and Emil felt like he was four again, huddling up to his parents at night because he was too scared of the dark. 

…

The crew had woken up before Emil, so by the time he had started to awaken, Lukas, Tino, and Mathias were all ready to go. Emil rubbed his eyes, mind still vivid with sleep. His body ached with soreness, wanting to drift back into the peaceful state of mind he had when asleep, but Emil forced himself to get up.

“Tino, why hadn’t you woke me up?” Emil yawned.

Tino giggled at Emil’s current state. “You looked like you were really tired, so I wanted to let you sleep.” He answered simply.

Emil took Tino’s answer because he was too tired to reply back. He ran a hand through his pale hair, ruffling it around before letting it drop and standing up. Swiftly, he jogged across the warehouse to grab a drink from a water bottle before carrying it with him. It was the only one there for some reason, and Emil swore he saw more yesterday.

“Guys, where’s the other bottles?” Emil asked no one in particular. He patted his leather pocket to make sure he still had his knife, he mentally went through a quick check to see if he had everything.

“I’m bringing it with me. We’re probably not coming back.” Mathias answered. Emil felt disappointed that he was only able to sleep one night on the soft sofa. He pouted for a second before jogging back to the group.

He took note of Lukas’ shotgun strapped to his back and unconsciously mentally made sure to stay away from him. Mathias wearing the black backpack he had seen yesterday, packed full with what he assumed were the missing water bottles. Tino was holding the pistol he had shot with yesterday. 

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

…

It took them a few days before they arrived. Mathias was quick to lead the way, carrying a long pocket knife in one hand while swinging the other as if he was marching.

“It’s been a long time, but this place hasn’t changed.” Mathias spoke up.

Tino curiously asked, “Have you been here before?”

“Mmm, yup! I lived here when I was little before I moved somewhere else. It’s sad to see it destroyed.” He elaborated oddly cheerfully. Emil noted that his expression didn’t fit the tone of his voice.

Out of nowhere, he pointed at something. It was a fairly old house with its dirtied white paint scratching off. Emil stopped and turned to look, which caused Lukas to bump into him. He was about to mutter a sorry but then stopped himself. Why should he even say sorry?

“That’s where I used to live when I was super young.” Mathias shared. “Man, I can’t believe I still remember.” Again, Emil caught onto the mismatch of his expression and tone.

After, they continued to walk for a few moments before arriving at a weapon supplies store. As they went in, the door chime rang. Mathias immediately noticed a walker behind the counter and sliced its head off swiftly. Emil shivered. He wished he was as strong as him. Now that he took a closer look, he could see the hidden muscles under the sleeves of Mathias’ shirt.

The inside of the shop was small and fairly monochrome apart from the few crimson price stickers stuck to the wall. Other than that, it seemed quite empty. Emil wasn’t surprised at all. This situation was very familiar to him since it’s already happened multiple times to him and Tino. 

“Guys, I see a back room. I’m gonna go check it out.” Mathias announced. The others replied with a scattered okay. “Emil, wanna come?”

“Uh, sure. Why not?” Emil hesitantly replied. Mathias and him weren’t very close. Hell, they literally met yesterday, so Emil was confused why he asked him and not Lukas.

Emil followed Mathias into the back room to discover a rotting corpse. 

“Gross.” Emil reacted. His nose scrunched up from the pungent smell and it made him wonder how long the body’s been there. Mathias quickly plunged his knife

Besides the obvious dead corpse in the middle, the room looked to be quite empty. Despite that, the two searched the room anyways.

A minute or so into searching, Mathias piped up and said, “So, Emil. Where are you from?”

Emil paused as he shoved an empty box to the side of a shelf he’s been searching. Confusion reflected on the silver-haired boy. “Uh, Iceland. Why?” 

“Oh, no reason. I just don’t really know much about you so I thought that now’s the time. I’m from Denmark by the way!”

Emil snorted. “Now? When we’re searching for food while there’s literally a corpse in the middle of the room? Okay then.” He crouched down to look at the last layer of the shelf.

“Well the awkward silence was killing me.” 

“Right, okay.” Emil replied amusedly. He thought for a bit as he finished up scavenging. _I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to talk, right?_ “Hey Mathias.”

“Yeah?”

“How old are you?” He awkwardly asked. Emil cursed his cheeks for heating up for some odd reason. _It’s just a question, Emil! Stop being like this!_

Mathias stayed silent for a bit, probably thinking, and answered, “I guess about twenty-two now? Not really sure since I’ve lost track of time. I know Lukas is definitely twenty by now. What about you and Tino?”

He thought for a moment. “I think I’m eighteen this year?” Emil unsurely replied.

“Jesus Emil. Eighteen? Really? You’re tiny! I thought for sure you’d be Lukas’ age by now.” Mathias laughed. 

Emil stood in embarrassment. His face was completely flushed red. “Shut up Mathias! I’m old enough, okay? I can take care of myself!” He retorted loudly. Mathias only laughed even more.

After they calmed down, Mathias continued with, “What about Tino?”

Emil made an ‘uhhh’ sound and answered, “I think twenty-one? Twenty-two? Not sure because, you know, time.” Mathias hummed in response.

After another moment, Mathias made an excited noise which Emil replied with ‘what?’ to it. The older man quickly ushered the younger over to find three well hidden cans of soup. Emil stood there shocked for a second, and then ran out of the room to tell Tino the good news. He adored watching Tino’s grin grow, even if he would never admit it outloud.

Mathias emerged from the back room with the cans and set them on the floor and sat down. The rest of the group followed. Emil observed a slight smile on Lukas’ face and had to do everything to prevent himself from thinking it’s attractive.

Tino promptly realized a problem. There were three cans of chicken noodle soup but four people. Emil frowned. He thought about himself for a moment, questioning if he was really, really hungry, or if he could spare a few more days. Besides, he doesn’t want Tino to possibly set aside his food for someone else, he’s already been doing that for a long time when it was just them.

“I’ll set mine aside.” “Someone can have mine.” Lukas and Emil stated at the same time. The two looked at each other in surprise.

Tino looked to be in thought for a second, and then his face lit up with a brilliant idea. “What if you and Lukas share?”

Mathias looked at Tino and then added with a big grin, “Hey, that’s a good idea!”

Emil pouted and defensively countered with, “No, it’s okay! I ca-”

“Sure.” Lukas cutted Emil off. Emil stared back at Lukas with a shocked look. Why did he want to share with Emil? They don’t even like each other for fucks sake! They literally had an argument yesterday!

Emil considered the pros and cons. With a sigh, Emil begrudgingly agreed. Tino kindly cut open each can for everyone and gave everyone a water bottle to drink from. Along the way to the city, Emil dropped his bottle somewhere. Thankfully, it was already quite empty. 

The group sat together spread out on the floor.. Tino and Mathias shared a little corner near the door to the back room. Together they chatted as if they were old friends who recently reunited. Emil watched the two talk, noticing that they haven’t even taken a sip from the soup. Lukas, on the other hand, sat a bit further away from them and had already started eating; tipping the soup into his mouth. Emil watched him swallow each gulp from a distance, waiting for Lukas to pass the can to him.

Emil frowned. “Hey, let me have some!” He rose and walked over to sit next to him. He stumbled with his feet before quickly regaining balance when he realized that the shotgun Lukas was carrying was right beside him. Cautiously, he approached him. Lukas paused, making eye contact with Emil.

Lukas held out the can to Emil. “Here. There’s still a lot left. I didn’t eat much.” Hastily, Emil reached out to grab the tin can with both hands. He looked inside the can to find quite a lot still to his surprise. “See?”

Emil pouted, not wanting Lukas to win… whatever their conversation was, denied, “You still ate first so that wasn’t fair.”

Lukas deadpanned Emil. “You wanted to give up your soup.”

“So did you!” Emil retorted. He tipped the can into his mouth as he couldn’t wait anymore. The flavours were heavenly. Emil thinks it’s the most delicious thing he’s eaten in his entire life. Salt coated his tongue in just the right way and he swore the chicken was fresh despite it coming in a can. 

“Hey,” Lukas spoke up. Emil looked up. “Give me some now.” Emil leveled the can and checked to see how much was in it. _Shit, I just ate a lot more than half of the can_. Panicking and not knowing what to do, the white-haired boy shoved the can towards Lukas.

Emil looked down at the floor. “Sorry.” He muttered. And he really did feel apologetic towards Lukas. He didn’t mean to leave Lukas with so little. As much as he hated Lukas, he didn’t want him to starve.

He couldn’t see how Lukas reacted due to the position of his head, but Emil assumed he had the same blank stare he always had. Somehow, that thought makes him feel worse. 

“It’s fine.” Lukas stated. Emil heard him get up and place the can on the floor. He glanced up to find Lukas chilling away from him and the soup completely empty from the can. Oddly enough, Emil felt hungrier than ever, even though he just ate.

…

After everyone finished eating, Lukas stated that there was still a lot of time in the day and decided that they should find another place to search before it got too dark. Tino agreed. And so, Mathias led everyone through the deserted city to a nearby grocery store. He swore that there was going to be resources there. 

Emil slowly opened the door to the store to find emptiness. It was extremely dim and the walls suggested that they’ve gone through hell and back. He couldn’t find a single place where there weren’t scratches or tears.

“This place seems so new. Wow.” Emil joked sarcastically. Tino chuckled at his comment.

“Let’s look around.” Tino suggested. Everyone scattered to search in different areas of the run down shop.

Emil ended up in the snacks section. All the shelves were cleared of everything except for dust. He walked down each isle to find the same exact view save for the last isle. It had a lone granola bar at the very end. Emil’s face lit up and jogged down to collect it. Maybe he could give it to Lukas to apologize. He reached to grab it until Lukas screamed,

“Emil!” He felt an arm pull him back just as a walker jumped out, a centimetre away from him. His pupils dilated. Emil felt his back collide with Lukas’ body and before he could react, Lukas pulled out his knife from Emil’s leather pocket and jabbed the walker in the neck. It fell onto the floor. Lukas stepped on the back of its head and stabbed it once more in the head.

Emil was extremely flustered. His heart beated so fast that he thought it might tear through his ribcage. He began with, “Lukas, I-” but then cut himself off. He really didn’t know what to say. 

Lukas cleaned the dagger with his shirt, stowing it away in Emil’s pouch and then stood up to face Emil, grabbing both of his hands. He put them together with his and whispered, “It’s okay, calm down. You’re safe with me.” It was in that moment when Emil became aware of how much his body was shaking. In his life, nothing could ever compare to the amount of danger he was in during that moment.

Emil could feel Lukas’ hands contrasting his own icy cold hands. The two looked into each other’s eyes for a long period of time. Lukas’ gaze was surprisingly soft compared to his usual blank stare. He realized what a deep blue his eyes were and how pretty he thought it was. Already, his heartbeat had slowed down significantly.

Suddenly, Emil remembered the forgotten granola bar and jerked out of Lukas’ hold. He swiftly walked past him to retrieve the bar and held it out to Lukas. His heart raced again, though this time it was for a different reason.

“So, uh, I want to give you this.” He started. “Sorry for eating your soup.” Emil put his face down. He could already feel the familiar heat on his cheek growing from embarrassment.

Lukas took the granola bar from Emil’s hand and pulled him forward. “Don’t stand over there. There might be more of them.” He stated monotonically. Emil peered upward to find the usual blank gaze back on Lukas’ face. Lukas turned around and started to walk away before he stopped in his tracks. “Also,” Lukas began. Silence washed over for a bit before he continued, “Thanks.”


	3. Have it, You Need it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emil wanted to scream, but instead, he let out a quiet whimper. He wanted to so badly, but he knew if he did, he'd attract more walkers- Shit! The hundreds of walkers!

_Pitter patter pitter patter._ The dull sky came down with heavy rain as Tino, Mathias, Lukas and Emil travelled through the streets. They left the grocery store an hour ago with a single granola bar that Emil luckily found. Other than that, nothing else Emil knew of was picked up. 

Emil didn’t notify Tino or Mathias on what happened. He was an adult already at age eighteen, and he wasn’t going to burden Tino by having him worry about him anymore. Tino matured way quicker compared to Emil, taking care of the younger boy as if he was already a parent. And Emil didn’t feel like he was close enough to Mathias, they did just meet a few days prior.

“Guys, it’s raining and you aren’t gonna panic at all? Our clothes are going to get soaked if we don’t find shelter quick!” Tino bursted out. His face was painted with complete frustration and confusion.

Mathias nodded. “Okay, follow me.”

And so they did. The group ran through the rainfall hastily. Even though Emil was getting completely soaked, he appreciated the water oddly enough. It made him feel like he was alive. The freezing cold water falling upon him seemed so freeing. It could be because he was getting sentimental for some reason or because of what had just happened, but he felt good. _Really_ good. Maybe even better than good.

It was silent. Well, mostly, since the only thing that could be heard by Emil was the wet footsteps that were made by them. By accident, he stepped into a newly formed puddle, soaking his entire boot with water. Emil took it back; he doesn’t want anything to do with the rain anymore, not with his left foot completely drenched in the slimy liquid. 

The trip didn’t take a very long time, only a few minutes. Even so, Emil ended up completely soaked in rainwater unfortunately. Thankfully, Mathias led everyone to a run down motel which meant that Emil could rest in a room by himself. It wasn’t that Emil didn’t like the others, it was that he seriously needed some privacy if he was going to strip. After all, he couldn’t keep wearing wet clothes or else he’d get sick. 

They gathered in the reception room, trying to find where the keys were kept. Emil prayed to god that there were enough keys. His prayers were met when Tino piped up to announce that he had found the keys behind the reception desk. To Emil’s pleasure, there were more than enough. 

The group travelled to their rooms together in case something bad happens. They also decided to stay there for the night. After all, there was going to be a bed in a relatively safe room. Plus, it was definitely getting dark. 

Of course, they chose keys with similar numbers in hopes that they would be close together. Even so, Emil still felt a little nervous. This shouldn’t be so nerve wracking considering that he’s done this millions of times for the past two years. But it was, and he hated it.

Approaching his door, Emil tried to calm his nerves and just open the door in one action. Apparently, his hesitation was obvious to Tino, who happened to glance at Emil. 

“Emil, are you okay?” Tino worriedly asked. 

Emil nodded his head. “Yeah, completely fine. Why?” he lied, despite his heart loudly beating as if it was trying to scream for help.

Tino stared into his eyes, like he was trying to figure him out. Finally, he let out a small sigh. Emil would’ve missed it if he wasn’t looking at him. “Alright then. Call me if something goes wrong.”

Once Emil watched Tino walk into his own room, he turned his attention back to his own door. In an attempt to calm himself down, he took a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door ajar. Firstly, he peeked in to check for walkers. Then, he finally opened the door completely, its hinges squeaking loudly. His heart raced quicker and quicker as the seconds tick by. 

There was a single bed pushed against the right side of the room, taking up most of the room’s space. Accompanying it was a coffee coloured nightstand. A few feet in front of him rested a dressing table, the same brown colour as the nightstand, though it’s mirror was completely smashed. At the very back was a single door which Emil assumed was to the bathroom. It was completely shut. _Phew. Nothing._ Still, his heart refused to slow down. The boy held his breath when he went to open the bathroom door. He didn’t want another grocery store scene to happen again, though he did kinda want to see Lukas’ kind and forgiving eyes again-

_Focus Emil! Not now!_ He gulped. In one go, he turned the doorknob and kicked open the door. _Thank god._ It was your normal bathroom; a sink, toilet, and shower. Emil was 100% sure that the water didn’t work but he tried it anyways. Not a drop of water came out. 

Now that he was a bit calmer, Emil exited the bathroom and took a look at the room. It was fairly clean for a motel during an apocalypse, though the walls were torn and ripped, and he doesn’t think he has to mention the obviously smashed mirror from the dressing table. Other than that, he noticed the pillow was missing from the bed. 

Before he finished looking around, he was reminded of how cold he was when a droplet of water from his drenched hair ran down his cheek. He shivered. Closing the door to the room, he immediately took off his wet coat, button up shirt, and trousers and threw them on the relatively clean bed. He rested his leather bag with his dagger inside on the dressing table. 

He checked around the bathroom to see if there were any clean towels. Majority of them laid on the floor, dirtied with mysterious substances, but one hung on the bar on the wall looking decently clean. He grabbed for it and tried to dry his hair and body as much as he could. As for his clothes, he wasn’t sure what to do.

Once he was mostly dried off, he sat down on his bed. He thought of laying out his clothes so they dried quicker, but he wasn’t sure where. There weren’t enough clean surfaces and the dressing table was too small to put anything on it. Then, Emil was reminded of the bathroom with the single bar.

Emil rushed to the washroom, wet clothes in hand. It was freezing against Emil’s now somewhat warmed up body. As quickly as he could, he spread out the clothes on the bar. Once Emil was done hanging up the trousers and button up shirt, he found that there was no room for the large, brown coat. 

“What am I gonna do now…” Emil mumbled out, disappointment laced with every syllable.

He sighed, before going back to the bed and flopping down onto its messily spread out blanket. Frankly, he didn’t care if it wasn’t completely clean, he just suddenly felt so worn out. It was only until now that he realized that not only had he completely calmed now, he felt so normal. Emil didn’t feel like he was in an apocalypse where everything and anything seemed like they were out to get him, at least not in this situation. It was refreshing, just like the beginning of the rainfall. 

Emil spread out the coat next to him on the bed, hoping it would be dry the next day. He fell asleep thinking about the times when everything wasn’t broken, and the warm Finnish porridge Tino’s parents would make for him in the morning topped with just a bit of jam, butter, and fresh berries.

…

When Emil awoke, it was due to the knocking on the door and a voice that sounded like Tino’s telling him to wake up. The Icelandic mumbled back what sounded like ‘a few more minutes’ but it was mostly incoherent. Emil heard a muffled giggle from outside the door and rubbed his eyes open. Still half awake, he laid on the bed for a few more seconds, processing the situation as he blinked at his brown jacket next to him. Abruptly, he shot up in panic when he realized he was not in fact in Tino’s bedroom being woken up for breakfast, but in a random motel room during the middle of an apocalypse.

“I-I’m up!” Emil stuttered as he raced to the washroom to retrieve his now dried (thank god) clothes. As quickly as he could, the boy dressed himself and went over to grab his coat that was back on the bed. When his hand made contact with the brown fabric, he noticed it was still a bit damp but nothing unwearable. Emil frowned before putting it on, knowing it would dry completely in half an hour or so. 

Once his clothes were back on, he walked maybe a little too swiftly to the door before realizing he had entirely forgotten about his dagger. Going back to grab it, he opened the door to find Tino in front of him, smiling brightly.

“Took you about… six minutes? Good job, it’s faster than last time!” The Finnish man stated. Emil noticed that it had stopped raining.

“You could’ve woken me up way earlier.” Emil grumbled out. Tino laughed.

“I did though, Lukas and Mathias are still sleeping.” Confirmed Tino.

Emil’s brows furrowed. “What?”

“Come, let’s wake up Mathias and Lukas now. I’m gonna wake up Mathias. Tell Lukas to meet at the reception desk.” He simply said while smiling.

And so, Emil ended up obeying by standing in front of Lukas’ door and knocking, telling the other to wake up. He heard an ‘give me a second.’ followed by complete silence. Emil stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do before the door opened.

Lukas stared down at Emil before asking, “What do you need?”

“Uh, were you awake already?” Emil replied sheepishly. Lukas simply nodded. Awkward silence filled the mood.

After a minute, Lukas cut through the silence. “Is that all? I’m gonna go then.” 

Just before Lukas could close the door, Emil remembered Tino telling him to meet at the reception desk and bursted out, “Tino said to meet at the reception desk!”

Lukas stared at Emil once more with a stoic facial expression and replied, “Okay, I’ll be there in five.” then closed the door. Emil blinked at the closed door for a second, processing what just happen, then made his way to the meetup spot.

…

When the entire team gathered up in the lobby, they did a quick check if they’d forgotten anything and left the motel. The road was eerily silent. Actually, it was always this muted, Emil began to realize. Now that he’d took a minute to think, he’s never really seen many walkers, just the couple in the gun store and the single in the grocery store. His gut feeling all of a sudden had started screaming at him, telling him something was wrong. Going against it, Emil stayed quiet, not speaking up at all. 

As they turned the corner onto the main road, a loud groan was heard, contrasting Emil’s previous thought. Emil flinched and glanced over at Tino, who seemed to have noticed it too. If Tino was afraid, he certainly didn’t show it. Mathias and Lukas on the other hand, appeared to have either not heard or didn’t care. Emil looked puzzled, but couldn’t focus on his teammate’s weird reaction as the groaning got louder.

Emil cautiously travelled down the street, making sure to step quietly like how the others were. When he peeked his head out the corner, he immediately stepped back, almost tripping on himself if Lukas wasn’t there to catch him. 

“What’s wrong?” Tino worriedly asked in a hushed voice.

“W-Walkers. A whole hoard of them. Hundreds probably.” Emil whispered back. “I thought it was weird that there weren’t many around. Turns out there all gathered there.”

Lukas took a quick glance around the corner and mumbled a ‘fuck’ under his breath before approaching Mathias to discuss about it. Emil looked again, the giant group of zombies made his stomach upset just a little, and frankly, he was terrified.

“Okay, so I know another way around, but everyone has to be silent, and I mean dead silent or else this might go bad.” Mathias informed. Tino seemed visibly worried, the creased brows and frown on his lips making it obvious. Emil has never seen Mathias be _this_ serious. Lukas gestured to continue. “We’ll go back to where we turned the corner and go straight up instead, then make a loop and shortcut through some houses.”

They went back, winding through the streets as Mathias led them effortlessly. As they reached the corner in which they turned, Emil found himself in unfamiliar streets, and as they moved on forward, they turned left. Continuing forward, bigger houses appeared, like the ones only in richer neighbourhoods. Sadly, most of them had been destroyed, but some remained somewhat nice.

Mathias led them through one of those rich houses, reminding them to stay as hushed as possible. Emil wondered about it as he entered the house, since Mathias never stated specifically why they had to be completely silent. As they walked through the living room to the kitchen, Emil spotted a black duffle bag on the kitchen counter. Lukas, Tino, and Mathias all passed by it without even sparing a glance. Curiosity getting the best of him, he stopped to check, unzipping the bag to find copious cans of food (fruits, beans, noodles, etc…) and medical supplies (bandages, alcohol, painkillers, etc…)

Forgetting to stay silent, Emil announced, “Guys, look at this!”

Mathias looked at Emil in frustration, then fear and yelled, “Fuck, Emil run!”

Emil stood there confused for a moment before he casually grabbed the duffle bag. Suddenly, a voice from behind spoke up.

“Ah, you first take him, and then you steal my supplies? Not very nice _Lukas_.”

Emil looked back to find a tall man dressed in a clean beige coat and white scarf accompanied by a girl wearing a dark blue dress with an apron and bow. His eyes widened. Before he could speak, Mathias shouted in frustration, “Emil, what are you doing!? RUN!”

Immediately, Emil ran with the duffle bag to the back exit.

“Not so fast. Natalya?”

“Da.”

Behind him, Emil heard some shuffling and then BANG. Gunshots. His heart jumped and he tensed up. Still, he ran as fast as he could, reaching the exit. Mathias and the others were already outside further ahead. He saw them gesture to him in panic.

“You aren’t escaping!” The unknown man yelled as more gunshots were heard.

He kept running, gasping in surprise when a bullet flew right by his head, cutting a few strands of white hair off. Looking around, he tried to spot Mathias and the others, but they were nowhere in sight to Emil’s disappointment. He gulped, deciding to turn right when he got to a four way stop. While worrying about the unending gunshots, he completely forgot to worry about the possible walkers until one gripped onto his arm.

It bit down.

His heart pounded in fear, pain spreading throughout his body. Emil wanted to scream, but instead, he let out a quiet whimper. He wanted to so badly, but he knew if he did, he'd attract more walkers- _Shit! The hundreds of walkers!_

Quickly, he retrieved the knife from his leather pocket and attempted to decapitate the walker’s head. Thank god for Osteoporosis, because the bones were brittle enough to cut through. Once Emil cutted through the neck, the head smashed onto the ground, cracking where it received the impact and splattered with blood. In the back of his head, he noted that he did what Mathias executed in the gun shop, but he didn’t have any time to be happy about it.

When he glanced back, he noticed the tall man approaching. Emil started running again. He checked where he was bit as he ran, relieved when he noticed that the walker wasn’t strong enough to tear through his brown coat, only leaving indents that he’s sure will go away and a bloodstain that’ll never fade, but that didn’t matter when other parts of his coat had bloodstains as well. However, it hurt like a bitch, and still did while he ran. Emil clutched his arm, hoping the pain would fade.

As he sprinted across the street, he glanced left to find the hoard of walkers approaching another intersection that Emil was running towards. He had to run faster, or else he might not be able to make the turn due to the massive amount of zombies blocking the way. More gunshots were fired before Emil could forget the chaser, and his vision seemed to blur. His sight seemed more and more like a glass with frost with every second that past.

Tears. _Fucking tears._ Out of all the times he had to start sobbing, it was now, in the middle of the intersection where zombies were almost in arms reach to him while an armed man chased after him. His blurred vision made it harder to navigate and he was sure that he’d lost Mathias, Lukas, and even Tino.

Using his sleeves, he wiped his tears. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm. Emil was so sure it was a walker, and that he would have to accept his death, but when he looked up, he saw blond hair that belonged to a familiar man.

“L-Lukas?”

“Shut up. Just run.” He bluntly ordered as he pulled him towards an alleyway between two buildings when they turned left.

So they ran.

More gunshots. More groans from the walkers. The weight of the duffle bag became more and more heavy with each step, and he felt impossibly tired. Still, he hurried down the alleyways, streets, and stairs Lukas pulled him through. Somehow, they managed to get away. Bad news, they lost Mathias and Tino.

His tears had long dried, but Emil felt like shedding them once more. He didn’t though, because how could he trouble Lukas with his devastated self? He examined Lukas, who visibly seemed frustrated and distressed instead of putting on his usual face, and who could blame him? 

Lukas had still gripped Emil’s arm, keeping Emil right beside him. It was as if Lukas forgot that he still held it.

Emil nervously nudged Lukas to get his attention, and pointed at where he was holding his arm. He let go.

...

After aimlessly wandering around the city for a while, they end up finding a place to stay that wasn’t torn to hell, and it happened to be an elementary school. Lukas easily pushed open the main gate that once kept strangers out, but now it seemed like it was useless. Emil followed. As they approached the front doors to the school, Emil noticed a shadow pass by through the window.

“Lukas…” Emil started.

“What?” Lukas replied. Emil could make out a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I-I think I saw someone inside.”

Emil thought he saw Lukas tensed up. He cautiously pushed the door open to find a darkly lit hub which split in three directions. Emil followed Lukas, staying close to him. He suddenly remembered that Lukas had a shotgun, his eyes flickering to the weapon that hung on the other side of him. His body relaxed. Out of all the things out there, Emil never thought that a shotgun would’ve made him feel safer.

They made their way down a dimly lit hallway and into a classroom. The room was definitely way brighter than the hallway, but that’s not what caught Emil and Lukas’s attention, it instead, was the short blonde girl in a tattered fuschia dress searching what Emil assumed was the teacher’s desk. Had it not been for the small but loud gasp Emil let out, the unknown girl wouldn’t have noticed them. She lifted her head up from the sound, surprise morphing onto her face first, then fear. 

Before she could do anything, Lukas pulled out his shotgun and aimed it at her.

She put her hands up, trembling. “P-Please don’t hurt me. I’m only trying to find medicine for my brother.” The girl explained swiftly, fear laced in with every word.

Even so, Lukas hadn’t put down his gun. “Who are you?” He interrogated suspiciously.

“I-I’m Erika. My brother is r-really sick. P-Please, let me go.” The young girl pleaded. Then, she caught sight of Emil’s half zipped duffle bag that revealed the medical supplies. Lukas caught eye of this, clearing his throat to bring the attention back to him.

“Lukas, she doesn’t seem dangerous at all, just let her go.” Emil mumbled quietly into Lukas’ side, just loud enough for the two to hear. 

After a few more seconds of contemplation, Lukas lowered his shotgun. “Thank you!” She exclaimed as her face lit up, but she was still trembling. After a few moments, Emil realized she hadn’t left yet, or had any intention. Her emerald eyes gazed at the supplies in the duffle bag and opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it. Mustering up the courage, she asked, “Uhm… can you spare some of your medical supplies?”

Lukas glared at her, holding his rifle a little tighter. “I don’t think so.”

“E-Even a little is fine! Please, I just want him to feel better.” She begged. Her eyes were glossy, like they were covered in tears that were about to spill over any second.

Emil gazed at the young girl with pity and said, “Okay.” Lukas swung his head to stare at Emil in disbelief.

“Emil, you can’t just decide for the both of us.” Lukas argued.

“I- but she’s so desperate! Think of what you would do for your family!”  
  


Lukas’ eyes widened at Emil’s comment, then glared at him. After, he turned to Erika and asked, “Fine, but what can you give us in return?”

“I- uhm…” She began quietly. “I can provide a safe place to stay at. It’s warm too, and well kept. And… it has beds that I can lend you.” Erika elaborated in hopes of convincing the intimidating man.

Emil swore that he saw Lukas’ eyes light up for a split second. “Fine, let’s go see it and we’ll think about it.” Lukas said.

…

After walking for around half an hour, weaving through unknown buildings and being directed towards a forest (which they were suspicious of at first, but followed anyways with caution), they found a small, run down cabin next to a river. Erika calmly opened the door to which Emil was greeted with something he’d never would’ve imagined. 

The inside was way nicer than it looked on the outside. The two guys stepped inside, finding the living room right in front of them. It was well kept, with a seemingly clean rug on the floor accompanied by a slightly chipped wooden table and a single black couch. 

“Uh, this is the living room.” Erika said, staring at the floor while fumbling with the hem of her dress. She gestured for them to follow her, leading the two to a room beside the living room. “This is the dining room and kitchen. Electricity or water doesn’t work, so I’m sorry about that. We usually go out to retrieve the water from the lake. Me and my brother don’t really use this room lots besides storing the water in there.” She pointed towards a cabinet in the kitchen. We prefer to sit in the living room, but feel free to come in here.”

The kitchen was extremely small and was conjoined to the almost identical sized dining room with a table and two chairs. “How did you find this place?” Emil asked in awe.

Erika gestured for them to follow once again. “Uhm, me and my brother lived here. He’s an excellent shooter, and cleared out most of the zombies in our area, but there are always the few that linger.” The girl explained softly. Her body seemed to stop trembling, but her movements still seemed a bit uncomfortable.

Leading Lukas and Emil out of the kitchen, she showed them to the two rooms at the back of the living room. “My brother’s is on the right. You can use the left. I never use my room these days anymore, since my brother is sick and all.” She said sadly, opening the door to the left to show a single bed in the left corner and a small desk in the right. In front of the bed was a closed closet.

Before Emil forgot, placed the duffle bag down and retrieved a bottle of painkillers, Tylenol, a single can of beans, and some bandages just in case before placing them in Erika’s hands. “Thank you.” He sincerely said.

Her face lit up in happiness. “No, I should be thanking you.” She held them tightly to her chest, smiling widely. “Please stay as long as you’d like. You really are a lifesaver. Thank you. Thank you so much.” Immediately, she hurried to the other room where her brother was.

Lukas frowned at Emil. “You gave her too much.”

“She needed it.” Emil retorted. Lukas stayed silent and picked up the duffle bag, zipped it up and hid it under the bed. “Why’d you do that?” Emil asked.

“Just in case they take it.” 

“Why would they do that?” 

“Why wouldn’t they do that?” Lukas argued. “We have all that they need, and we barely know them. Who’s to say they won’t steal it while we’re asleep and run off?”

“You know her brother’s sick, Lukas.” Reasoned Emil.

“You haven’t even seen her brother!”

“Just have some compassion!” Emil yelled. “I know she might betray me, but I want to hope that she wouldn’t do something like that. Maybe we could even be friends… it’s been a while since I’ve had any interactions with others besides Tino. You and Mathias were the only other people I’ve talked to in a long time.”

Lukas said nothing, opting to sit down on the bed instead. The atmosphere was heavy, and Emil couldn’t bear it anymore, so he left. He walked to the dining room in frustration that hadn’t completely subsided just yet and pulled out a chair to sit at the table. He put his head down, angry but disappointed at Lukas.


	4. It’s Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The rate that you turn into a zombie is dependent on how quickly you ‘die’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited, sorry! ^^  
> Please point out any mistakes I made <3

It was getting late. The windows of the cabin no longer provided the light it did earlier in the day. It was pitch black aside from the areas where the little light could seep in. Emil had just woken up from an accidental nap he took in the dining room, and his head ached from the hard surface he slept on. Deciding it would probably be a good idea to sleep on something softer, he left the tiny dining room.

Emil made his way to the back of the living room where the two rooms were. If he remembered correctly, his was on the left. He opened the door softly ajar, remembering the fight they had earlier that day. Emil was just glad it didn’t escalate any further.

Inside the room, it was essentially pitch black, but Emil could make out Lukas lying asleep on the bed, back faced towards Emil. He soon realized that there was only one bed, and Lukas had taken it. Standing at the entrance, Emil started to think of what to do.

In the end, he decided to sleep on the couch. He closed the door gently, making sure it would make little to no noise and laid down on the couch. It wasn’t unbelievably soft but considering the conditions he’d been living in for the past year or so, it was heaven. Despite that, Emil felt annoyed and irritated at the fact that Lukas stole the fucking bed.

But there was always only one bed, so what would’ve happened if they didn’t fight? How would the two decide who should take the bed and who should sleep elsewhere. Would Emil still have taken the couch or...

...would they have shared the bed?

Emil scrunched his face up in cringe of the thought he had, though it was probably mostly because they weren’t on the best terms currently. He shook the thought away quickly and buried his face into the back of the sofa.

…

In the morning, Emil woke up to find Erika’s bedroom door open and her brother’s closed shut while Lukas was nowhere to be found. He was somewhat glad but also worried. He brushed it off though, because he knew Lukas could take care of himself. Before he could ponder more, Emil immediately noticed how parched his throat was. 

He wandered into Erika’s bedroom where Lukas had slept the night before. He was still annoyed at him but Emil knew he would get over it eventually. Retrieving the bag from under the bed, he unzipped it to only realize it had no water, just canned food and medical supplies. He frowned, but put it back.

Emil didn’t want to bother Erika by asking if she had some water. Her brother was sick to the point where he was basically bedriddened. He sat back on the couch, wondering what he should do. Casually, Emil stared out the window. He knew he’d survive another day without it but it still bothered him.

In that moment, he remembered the river Erika mentioned. Actually, it was right there; he was literally staring at it for fucks sake. He honestly didn’t know he could be so blind. Shaking his head at himself, he stood up to leave the cabin.

As he made his way out to the river, he realized more and more how perfect it was here. The scenery was beautiful as well just to top it off, and as lovely as it was, it didn’t distract Emil from the possible dangers that could’ve been there. He still had his little dagger, which made him feel more at ease. If Tino were there with him, he’d be chatting and laughing with him.

When he finally made it to the river, he reached out into the river, cupping his hands to fill it with water. He drank lots. When Emil was satisfied, he shook his hands in an attempt to get as much water off as possible and wiped them near the hem of his coat.

While he walked back, he found Lukas re-entering the cabin, shoes slightly wet. Emil wondered where he’d been and why his shoes were wet. It could be that he went to the river just like Emil did, but Emil didn’t see him. Anyhow, Emil didn’t contemplate too long and went back into the house.

...

In an attempt to avoid Lukas, he knocked on Erika’s brother’s bedroom door. He mostly assumed she was still in there because Emil hadn’t seen her at all. His suspicions were correct when Erika opened the door. 

“O-Oh! Hello, er… Emil, right?” The young lady greeted.

Emil sheepishly smiled. “Ah, yeah. I was just wondering if you needed any help?”

Erika looked surprised, but warmly smiled right after. Emil noticed her tired demeanor and the light dark circles under her eyes. “No, it’s okay. I can’t trouble you much more. You’ve helped so much already. He’s already gotten better.”

Emil frowned. “If you say so I guess… but maybe you should take a break or something. You look really tired.”

“Hmm…” She glanced back at her brother, who laid on a twin-sized bed behind. “Maybe I will.”

They relaxed in the living room on the sofa, talking about their lives in general. Emil learned that her brother basically raised her and was actually older than her. He realized that, in a way, Erika was just like him and Tino.

He felt like they got closer.

But that didn’t ease the fact that he was still worried about Tino.

...

Emil hadn’t approached Lukas at all. He felt especially uneasy for the rest of the day, especially without Tino by his side. He wished Tino could be with him, experiencing the warmth of the cabin with him. Instead, the older was wandering outside, maybe even dead, but Emil knew Tino wouldn’t be killed easily. 

He also felt weird that he barely did anything productive that day. Instead, he lounged around while avoiding Lukas. When it became night, Emil hardly noticed it until he remembered that he wanted to take the bed this time. He’d already gotten over it, but he was still slightly mad over the argument yesterday.

Emil opened the bedroom door to find Lukas laying asleep on the bed, facing away from him. He sighed and went to close the door. 

Before he could, it turned out that Lukas was in fact, not sleeping, as he called out to Emil, “Why are you standing there? Come in, I’m not mad anymore.”

Emil stood there stunned for another moment before moving inside and closing the door behind him. “I wouldn’t care if you’re mad or not.” He lied.

“Oh really?” He quizzed. Emil would’ve almost protested at the response if he had not heard the playful teasing tone in his voice. It was weird; he wasn’t used to this. Plus, weren’t they on bad terms? 

Lukas rolled around to sit up properly on the edge of the bed, patting the area beside him to tell Emil to sit down. Hesitantly, he obeyed. “Emil, I’m sorry.” Lukas began in a solemn tone.

Emil was shocked at the sudden change of the tone of his voice. “I-It’s okay, I guess.” He said casually.

“No, really Emil. I’m sorry.”

“And I told you, we’re fine now.” Emil reassured, any trace of anger completely gone at this point.

Lukas frowned, pondering for a bit and then replied, “If you say so.” The two sat in awkward silence in the darkness, not knowing how to continue the conversation. Then, Lukas spoke up. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“What?” 

“Erika. She reminded me of my little sister. It bothered me, so I couldn’t sleep.”

Emil had a puzzled expression on his face. The room went back to silence soon afterward. Nervously, Emil asked in a hushed tone, worried if someone other than him and Lukas would hear, “Where’s your sister now?” His heart pounded.

Silence. Emil gazed at Lukas to find a hurt expression drawn all over and immediately regretted asking. “I-I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer.”

“No, no it’s fine. I’ll tell you. Just give me a moment.” Lukas reassured him. It took a few minutes before Lukas started speaking. “Her name was Kari. She was thirteen at the time and I just turned eighteen.” He paused, thinking about what he would say next, then continued. “Honestly, she was annoying. Brutally honest, annoying, but she was nice. She shared everything she had with me and hugged me a lot when I was down. I would die for her." Lukas sadly smiled to himself.

"When the apocalypse started, we didn’t know what to do. Our parents were out shopping and hadn’t come home in a few days, so we holed ourselves in the house until we ran out of food and the water in the tap stopped working. We didn’t quite understand too much of what was happening, the news stopped one day when we were watching it. It just cut off randomly and never came back on.

We decided to go out with my father’s pistol that he hid in the closet. I made sure Kari stayed extra close to me and we made it to a grocery store where we grabbed some food and ran out. We soon found out that the road to our house was blocked by walkers, so we ran to a family friend's house.

There were lots of them there and we didn’t expect it. That’s when I met Mathias. He helped us escape and brought us to his place where we stayed for a couple of weeks or so before we all moved. We met others that Mathias knew as well. Elizaveta, Gilbert…, Ivan, and Natalya.”

Emil remembered when the tall blond man called out to the girl beside him named Natalya and widened his eyes. “Are you saying that-”

“Yes,” Lukas confirmed. “that was the same Natalya. And the man chasing you was Ivan. Fast forward a year, I got really good at shooting with a gun and began teaching Kari so she could defend herself. Ivan was against it for some reason, I still don’t know why.

One day as I was training Kari, a hoard of walkers approached suddenly. Natalya, Elizaveta, and Gilbert all thought they could fight against it, and I believed them because they were really skilled.” 

Lukas took a deep breath. “And then Gilbert got bit.” Emil sat there stunned, mouth opened, trying to say something but the words wouldn't come out. In the end, he shut his mouth.

“He was struggling to get the walker off of him, and Elizaveta went to help. Kari still had the gun in her hand and wanted to help, so she took a shot… and hit Elizaveta instead.” His voice trembled at the end of the sentence. Emil hasn’t ever seen Lukas this vulnerable before, and it honestly broke his heart at how hurt Lukas appeared. 

Collecting himself together, Lukas continued, “She stood there frozen, and a walker was about to get her just like Gilbert, so Mathias pulled her out of the way. I said that we should run, and he agreed, so we ran away, leaving Ivan and Natalya. I felt guilty but as I was about to leave, I checked for Ivan and Natalya since I wanted to ask them to come. I couldn’t find them anywhere, so we left.

We found a convenience store to stay at temporarily, and I tried to calm down Kari as much as I could, but nothing worked. She wouldn't calm down at all, so I thought she just needed some time to cope with it. When we turned our backs to focus on something else for a split second, she shot herself.” A beat of silence passed. “It’s why I was hesitant towards Erika. I didn’t like being reminded of Kari.”

Emil pulled Lukas into a tight hug. He didn’t know what to say or how to comfort someone properly, so he stayed silent. Lukas was perfectly fine with that, returning the hug and then pulled them down onto the bed so they were a bit more comfortable. They laid there entwined in each other's limbs for a while; Lukas’ body resting on Emil’s, his head resting in the crook of Emil’s neck.

It was nice. The hug was nice. Emil could feel Lukas physically calm down in his arms, which was reassuring to Emil. He smiled.

Honestly, Emil enjoyed the hug a lot. While he did it with the intention to comfort Lukas, he ended up liking it maybe a little too much. Lukas’ body was warm and Emil felt like he was the one being comforted for a moment. Suddenly, Lukas moved away from Emil and Emil almost whined at the loss of heat.

Lukas sat beside Emil, who was still laying down. “Are you… okay now?” Emil whispered carefully.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said, his monotonic voice making a return. It was quiet once again. Breaking the silence, Lukas began in a soft voice, “Emil,”

“Mmm?”

“Let's play twenty questions.” He suddenly suggested.

“W-What?” He stuttered.

"Twenty questions. You know the game right?"

Emil pouted. "Well, yeah. But why?"

"I kind of just told you my life story essentially, and I still barely know you, so let's play." He paused. “Plus, I don’t want to think about her right now.”

"Fine."

“What was it like before the apocalypse for you?” Lukas curiously asked quietly.

Emil blinked. He didn’t expect that type of question from Lukas since he never showed much interest towards him, but maybe it was the atmosphere in the room. “Uhhh, I guess normal? Me and Tino were best friends, so I usually stayed at his house most of the time."

Lukas raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, and my favourite times were when Tino would wake me up for breakfast. I would come downstairs and smell what his mother made. I liked having her Finnish porridge the most." Emil elaborated, feeling happy about the memory.

"Porridge?"

"Mhmm. I know it sounds weird, but it tasted really good when she made it. She added jam, butter, a pinch of sugar, and fresh fruits." Emil's stomach suddenly rumbled at the suggestion of food. He awkwardly giggled. "I guess we shouldn't talk about food too much."

Lukas laughed. Emil's eyes widened as he stared at him. He'd never seen him smile much, let alone laugh, and it made him feel giddy inside that Lukas might be opening up to him. Though, the dark lighting in the room really sabotaged Emil because he could only just barely make it out. "Yeah, probably." Lukas replied after he finished laughing.

Another block of silence came as Emil thought of his question. They really weren't that good at keeping the conversation going it seemed. Anyhow, Emil didn't want to keep it silent, especially after he had seen him laugh. It was nice; Lukas had a pretty laugh and Emil might've wanted to see it again.

"H-Hey,"

"Yes, Emil?" Lukas smugly replied. This was different too; Emil wasn't used to it.

Because he spoke up without really thinking, Emil doesn't know what to say. His mouth opened and closed, then opened again to embarrassingly say, "Actually, I'm not sure." His mouth shut with an awkward smile.

Lukas smiled. "You can take your time. I'm sure questions are _so_ hard for you to think of." He joked.

Emil rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. He pondered for a while, but nothing except generic questions came to his mind. "What's your favourite colour?"

He snorted, replying, "Seriously Emil? It took you _this_ long to ask what my favourite colour was?"

Emil flushed red in embarrassment. "Shut up! I couldn't think of anything else!"

Lukas laughed again, and Emil almost missed it while he was busy being shy. "Green. I like green." He hummed. "Okay my turn. It's the third one, right?"

Once again, Emil rolled his eyes. "You can't even remember which turn it is already?" He playfully joked.

"At least I don't take years to ask someone what their favourite colour is."

"Shut-"

"Doing so now." Lukas grinned at Emil who deadpanned back at him. He wondered for a bit, not too long though as he swiftly questioned, “When are you the happiest?”

“What type of question is that?”

“Shh. Just answer.” He smugly grinned.

Emil stared up into the ceiling, genuinely thinking about his reply. “When I can eat as much food as I want.”

“Must’ve been why you ate that soup.” Lukas quietly mumbled out, though Emil didn’t catch it. “Your turn.”

“Uh… What’s a fact that others probably don’t know that you know?”

“Mmm…” Lukas contemplated. “The rate that you turn into a zombie is dependent on how quickly you ‘die’.”

Emil furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

Lukas evilly smiled back at Emil. “Guess you’ll have to ask next turn!”

“I hate you so much right now.” He deadpanned.

“Hmm… What was your first impression of me?” Emil froze. “I won’t get mad if it’s not good”

“I didn’t really like you…” Emil admitted. “You were really cold, and kind of a jerk.” He mumbled the last part out quietly in hopes Lukas wouldn’t hear it, but he did anyway.

“I get that a lot, even before this apocalypse started.” He gestured towards Emil, prompting him to ask.

“What did you mean by your last answer?”

“Basically, you can’t turn into a zombie when you’re alive. All walkers are dead; they have to be.” Even with this explanation, Emil was still confused and it showed. Lukas decided to elaborate.“Okay, let’s say you inject the virus into a human. If you aren’t dead yet, the virus will try to kill you ever so slowly so it can take over your body. Even if it’s the tiniest amount, it’ll still try to kill you, though at that point, you probably won't notice until years have passed, and I’m sure you wouldn’t mind dying at that point.”

Emil stared in awe. “Oh… that kinda makes sense actually. How do you know that?”

“You only get one question per turn, Emil.” He put it bluntly, grinning.

Emil pouted. “Fine. Go.”

“Why did you give me the granola bar?”

Emil’s face heated up as his eyes widened. He was so glad the room was dark. “I-I thought I told you already!!” He stuttered.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t actually the reason, right?”

“N-No… that was the real reason.” Emil insisted.

Lukas raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Yes… it’s my turn now. How did you know that fact?” He swiftly said, hoping to change the topic as quickly as he could.”

“Ivan.”

“Oh…” Emil trailed off.

“Yeah. My turn. It’s the ninth turn, right?” Emil nodded in confirmation.

“How old are you?”

Emil made eye contact with Lukas. “Don’t you already know?”

“No.”

Emil answered, “Oh, well I’m eighteen… I think.” 

“I knew it. I’m older.”

Emil puffed. “Yeah, I know.”

Lukas’ eyes widened. “How?”

“Mathias. Do you prefer romantic relationships or platonic ones?”

This one caught Lukas off guard visibly. Emil and Lukas sat in silence as Lukas pondered for a while on it. Finally, he answered, “I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, so I guess platonic, but I wish I tried dating before the apocalypse started.”

“Really? With a face like that?” Emil blurted out. Immediately, he regretted it and slapped both hands over his mouth.

“Why? Am I handsome or something?” He joked.

Emil averted his gaze. His face was probably so red. “Maybe…”

“Stop messing around.” He laughed. Emil wanted to retort but Lukas moved on too quickly with the next question before he could say anything. "What was it like at the beginning of the apocalypse for you?"

Emil froze, all signs of relaxation disappearing. Lukas frowned at the sight of Emil, and said, "Sorry, I asked a bad question didn't I?"

"N-No, it's okay. It's just… I don't like remembering it." The younger admitted.

"...You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Lukas reminded.

Emil shrugged it off as casually as he could, but it still seemed a little uncomfortable. "It's fine, you talked about yours, so I'll talk about mine." He took a deep breath. A beat of silence passed. "I was sixteen and Tino was twenty. We thought we knew what we were doing. My parents and Tino's parents stuck together, so naturally me and Tino did too. Since it was the beginning, there wasn't much information on them, and the water and electricity cut off after about a week. It was going good for a few months. We got enough food for everyone every weekend and the morale was kept high.

We stayed in Tino's house since it was bigger than ours. Then my dad fought against a walker. He did it successfully, but then Tino's father accused him of getting bit. They argued for a while, attracting more walkers in the process but they didn't notice. In the end, Tino's dad pulled out a shotgun and shot him." Emil's words trembled at the last sentence.

Lukas widened his eyes. "Is this why you always seemed nervous around me?"

Emil's jaw dropped. Quietly, he whispered in awe, "You noticed?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"I just- Nevermind." He paused. "Continuing on, Tino's mother rushed down the stairs to find my dad dead on the floor. She freaked out, and then the walkers ended up breaking in. Tino and I were upstairs in Tino's room at the time with my mom, so she went down too to check out what happened. I heard screaming and then footsteps so I went out to look because I was curious."

Emil stopped for a bit, long enough for Lukas to question if he was okay. He just brushed it off and continued like it was nothing. If he did feel scared or traumatized, he definitely didn't show it.

"My mom was being eaten by a walker in front of me." Emil shook his head, scrunching his face up. "I can't, I'm sorry. I just can't" He turned onto his side to face away from Lukas, feeling the tears coming so he closed his eyes.

Shuffling was heard behind him, and then he felt hands around his waist. "Is this okay?" Lukas asked.

Emil made a noise of approval, still wanting to hide his face. He could already feel the hot tears flowing. "Can we continue? The game I mean."

"Will you be okay?" He asked softly. Emil stayed quiet. Before Lukas could ask again, Emil quietly muttered out an 'yes.' 

First, Emil tried to calm himself down in Lukas' arms, and it worked thankfully. The two laid there in the pitch black for a while before Emil said in a soft voice, "Is Mathias really close to you?”

Lukas hummed in wonder. It was really close to Emil's ears, and suddenly he felt extremely intimate. Not wanting to stop Lukas' train of thought however, the silver-haired boy shut his mouth.

"I guess so. He saved me and Kari, so I feel like I can trust him." Emil made a sound in acknowledgement. Suddenly, his heart felt heavy, but he didn't understand why. 

"Uhm, could you… let go?" Emil said in the nicest way possible, but it still sounded a little like he didn’t enjoy his company.

Lukas' arms left Emil's waist, and Emil was somehow disappointed even though he asked for it. He almost whined at the loss of heat. He pouted, but wiped his somewhat dried tears and turned over, feeling better now. Now he faced Lukas, who stared back at him. Emil averted his eyes.

“Actually… let’s continue the game another time.” He sheepishly stated.

Lukas nodded in acknowledgment. “Do you… want me to stay?”

“I- Sure, I guess.”


	5. Wait... What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What if… No nevermind."
> 
> Lukas stared blankly at Emil, trying to read him. "What? Tell me."
> 
> Immediately, Emil refused, "No! It was a stupid idea." 

Emil felt warm, and he didn’t understand why. He stirred in the comforting heat surrounding him, blinking his eyes open to find a familiar shade of navy blue in front of his eyes. Confusion enveloped him. Where had he seen it before? Why was it in front of him? 

Shifting his head upwards a little, Emil’s eyes wandered up to find Lukas’ face deep in slumber.  _ Wait, Lukas!?! _

Immediately, his eyes widened as his brain frantically tried to remember what happened last night.  _ Oh. That happened. _ Emil relaxed a little before panicking internally again when he realized Lukas knew everything.

Last night, he thought his chest would feel lighter when he could let everything out to someone, but instead, he felt terrified. Maybe it was because he didn’t like feeling so vulnerable.

Putting his focus back at the situation at hand, Emil noticed Lukas’ arms were around him, trapping Emil into the position he was currently in. Trying to wriggle out of his hold without waking the other, Emil attempted to side down. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to, and ended up waking Lukas.

Opening his eyes, Lukas tried to adjust his focus onto the Icelandic boy. “...Emil?” He croaked out.

Avoiding eye contact, Emil requested in a quiet tone, “Um, could you move your arm?”

As his brain processed the situation, Lukas’ eyes widened and slid his arms away. “Sorry.” He mumbled out.

Emil quickly sat up and awkwardly climbed over Lukas to get out of bed. He felt his entire face grow warmer by the second. A part of him felt disappointed at the loss of warmth but he didn’t dare say anything about it. He left the room to only bump into Erika. She looked less tired than usual, the dark circles under her eyes lighter than before.

“O-Oh! Hello…” she greeted.

“Hi.” The awkward silence slowly wandered in. “Uh… I’m going to get some water from the river.”

"Ah, all right. I won't keep you from that." She said sweetly. Emil gave her a small smile.

Emil exited the house and approached the river and simply sat down near it. For some reason, the place gave an irry vibe compared to last time. It was odd. After all, it was the same place and nothing had really changed since the last time. Still, Emil thought it'd be better if he didn't face Lukas for a bit. His face flushed when he thought back to the moment that morning. 

Emil moved a bit to reach into the river, cleaning his hands a little first before bringing some back to his face to drink. Staring at the water, Emil realized he could probably also wash his face as it was probably extremely dirty. He suddenly focused on his reflection in the water slightly shocked at his appearance. He wasn't able to look properly at the broken mirror in the motel.

His face was indeed dirty but not as much as he thought. The rain must've washed some dirt away, but nevertheless, the Icelandic cleaned his face with the river water anyways. After a moment, he patted down the wet skin with the inside of his shirt to dry. Emil didn't dare use the sleeves to his coat. After, he walked back.

Just as Emil re-entered the cabin, Lukas swiftly pulled him aside into the dining room. Emil, feeling quite startled, uttered, "Wh- Huh? Lukas?"

"Sorry for that." He apologized. "We're leaving right now."

Emil stood there stunned. Lukas turned around to leave, but Emil caught the sleeve of his shirt stopping him. "What? Right now?"

"Don't you want to find Tino?"

"I- Well, yeah…but-" He trailed off.

"It's morning." Emil tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brows. "We'll be able to travel more while the sun is up."

"Oh."

Lukas pulled away from Emil's grip on his sleeves. "I'm getting our stuff. Can you wait outside?"

"Uh, sure I guess." He hesitantly responded. Lukas turned and walked off. Emil stared blankly at where he just left, trying to completely process everything that just happened.

Before Emil went outside, he tried to find Erika who he guessed was holed up in her brother's room. He wanted to say goodbye, or something like that. It just seemed wrong to not say anything. He knocked on the door.

Erika poked her head out of the room before fully opening the door. "Ah, hello. Did you need something, Emil?"

"Uh, I'm leaving today." He sheepishly said.

"Oh, I see." She paused. "Thank you for the supplies again. It really helped. He's definitely recovering faster than before." She sweetly thanked, making sure to smile.

"No problem. I hope you stay safe, Erika." Erika nodded. "Bye!" He waved at her then turned to leave.

Emil had just stepped out the door when Lukas tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey." The older one said. He held out the duffle bag to Emil, who accepted it and slipped it onto his shoulder. Lukas had carried the shotgun. "Let's go. I have a place I think Mathias would've gone to."

…

The travel was quiet. Occasionally, Emil could hear the distant groans created by the walkers, but nothing else. He trod alongside Lukas, the duffle bag hanging from his left shoulder.

“Emil,” Lukas spoke. The Icelandic responded with a hum. “do you want to continue our game?”

“S-Sure… Was it your turn?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

The game continued uneventfully as Lukas led them down a street; a pattern forming between the two asking and replying to questions. At some point, Emil was sure that more than twenty questions were asked, but refrained from speaking up. When it got to his turn once again, he paused. 

“How were you-” Emil cut himself off before rephrasing. “How did you find me when I was running away from Ivan? I could've been anywhere.”

"Tino noticed you were gone, so I went back to search for you. I guess I was just lucky to have found you so quickly." Lukas paused, "What would you do if you were infected?"

"I… I'm not sure." He frowned. "I'd probably keep it a secret if it wasn't spreading rapidly, especially to Tino. I-" Emil glanced up at the sky. "I wouldn't want to see him cry, at least not when I'm alive… Is that selfish of me?"

"Maybe, but I'd do something similar if it were me."

Emil looked at Lukas, head tilted. "Really?"

"I'd try to shoot myself. I don't want to infect others, though I'd likely drag it out because I would hesitate too much." He explained bluntly.

"What if… No nevermind."

Lukas stared blankly at Emil, trying to read him. "What? Tell me."

Immediately, Emil refused, "No! It was a stupid idea." 

"C'mon, what was it?" 

"It was really dumb."

"I won't laugh."

Emil redirected his eyes to the ground. "...What if we make a deal to tell each other if we were infected, and promise to shoot them." Lukas stopped walking midway. Panicking, Emil added on, "Think about it! I don't want to be selfish and drag it out. That'd endanger the entire group, and you wouldn't have to deal with hesitation!"

Lukas blinked. "That's… not what I expected."

"You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"And I'm not."

Emil accused, "You are in your mind!"

"No, I'm really not. Actually, that's not a bad idea."

"You- Wait what?" Emil did not expect that to be the outcome.

"Deal."

It took a couple of seconds before Emil properly processed what Lukas said to him, and it took another few seconds for him to make out a reply. "Actually?" Lukas nodded. "I guess it's a deal then."

…

"You still haven't told me where we're going, Lukas." Emil pointed out.

It seemed as if they had been walking for ages. Emil's thighs ached, the soles of his feet hurt like hell, the weight from the dagger case that hung from his waist felt like it doubled, and the duffle bag feeling impossibly heavy. His shoulders sagged more and more as each minute passed by. Emil let out a yawn.

Did they really separate this far since the chase from Ivan, or was Lukas leading him to a completely different area? Emil couldn't tell if the adrenaline pumping through his veins at the time made the travel back then easier or if they were actually walking a longer distance.

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Just be patient."

"Yeah, but I don't like being kept in the dark." He complained, unconsciously pouting his lips.

"It's a secluded park. Mathias and I used to split up to scavenge for food and meet up there once we were finished, but then we met you and Tino." Lukas explained.

"Oooh."

The two continued walking in silence. Before they knew it, the sky had considerably darkened, and Emil only realized when Lukas pointed it out.

"How long until we arrive?" Emil questioned.

"Probably a couple more hours."

"Where do we go then? It'll be too dark to see basically anything if we continue since lights don't exist anymore."

Lukas glanced around. The area they were currently in was quite secluded. And yeah, they haven't seen much, if any walkers at all, but it'd still be equally as terrifying. All Emil could see was grass for miles, and maybe a couple trees. Panic started setting in. 

Thankfully, Lukas' response eased the panic a little. "If I remember correctly, there should be a gas station approaching."

Emil let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god."

Lukas' answer was correct, as Emil ran up to the run down gas station once he spotted it with stars in his eyes and total relief in his mind, leaving Lukas behind. He couldn't wait to put down the bag that hung from his shoulders the entire time. He'd never been so happy to swing open the door to the 7/11 next to said gas station. Happy enough to forget to check for walkers. That was his mistake.

Granted, he hasn't seen any walkers the entire travel there, but it was a rookie mistake. As soon as he stepped inside the convenience store, a zombie immediately lunged at him. Emil let out a screech, instinctively blocking the attack with his left forearm. His right hand instantly went to his dagger, clumsily fetching the weapon from its case due to his nerves. Once he had a grip on it, he stabbed the infected's skull. 

Blood spewed out of the wound and soon enough, it fell to the ground. His sleeves received yet another blood stain. At the same time, Lukas opened the door behind him and stared at the scene in front of him.

"I was gone for two seconds, what happened?" He disappointedly asked.

Emil spun around to face him. "A walker lunged at me…"

"Right. Okay. Let's check the rest of the store for those then."

Emil explored the small store. There was a checkout counter to the right by the entrance, and rows of white metal shelves in the centre. He paced down each row, finding each shelf completely bare. There wasn't even a single empty wrapper. At the back, there seemed to be a restroom, but as soon as he opened the door, a nasty pungent smell hit him so he closed it and left it for Lukas to check. 

When Emil finished looking around, he tiredly sighed and headed towards a random shelf to place his duffle bag down. His shoulders have never felt so relieved. After, he jumped up to sit on the checkout counter and leaned against the wall, his body feeling heavy. At some point, he closed his eyes.

"Are you seriously sleeping already?"

Still having his eyes closed, Emil snapped back, "Shut up Lukas, I've been walking for far too long. Let me have this."

"Fine, fine." Lukas replied, hopping onto the counter as well. He rested beside Emil.

They sat there in comfortable silent for some time, and as much as Emil wanted to fall asleep, he couldn't. He moaned in annoyance.

Lukas sighed. "What is it?"

"I can't fall asleep, but I'm so tired. It's stupid." He frustratedly complained.

"That sucks. I can't do anything about that."

Emil angrily commented, "Ugh, I guess I won't sleep then." He opened his eyes and lifted his head off the wall. 

The room seemed brighter than before now that his eyes adjusted to the dark, though it was pitch black outside. Emil looked over at Lukas, noticing that he'd taken off his gun and probably placed it somewhere on the shelves. Lukas' eyes were darting around the 7/11. Emil wondered what he was thinking about.

Out of nowhere, Lukas muttered, "I wish I didn't give the backpack to Mathias to carry."

"Why? We have the duffle bag though."

"...It doesn't have the granola bar."

Emil felt his cheeks go red. "W-What? Why would that matter?" He exclaimed, clearly panicking.

Lukas turned his head to face him, a small smile plastered on his face. "Because you gave it to me." 

"Wh-Wha-" 

Lukas laughed. "Emil, your face is so red! Oh my god, that's hilarious!" 

"Shut up!" He shouted, though Lukas just seemed to laugh more. Emil turned away. 

It was stupid. It was so stupid how much he enjoyed hearing Lukas laugh, even if it was at him. It was dumb how cute he looked when he smiled at him, and it was even dumber how hot he looked when he wasn't smiling. 

Emil hated the fact that his heart would start beating so loudly when he was with him, and how terrified he now was of Lukas hating him. Even now, he felt like there were butterflies in his stomach and like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He hated the fact that it only took two days to like him-

Wait-

He liked Lukas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calm before the storm.
> 
> Sorry for not posting for so long! I had a couple of things going on in my life that I had to attend to. This chapter is shorter than my usual ones, but hopefully (fingers crossed) that I'll start posting weekly again!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D


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